Total Fucking War

Totaalinen vitun sota or "total fucking war" is a hypothetical Level 6 mass extinction event described by Church of Satan High Priest Scrooge McDuck in his Black Book of Metal. It is described as the Final Goal of all Black Metal.

Concept
In his book, McDuck describes the six conditions needed for a conflict to truly be a totaalinen vitun sota: Only a conflict that truly hits all 6 marks can be called a Total Fucking War.
 * 1) Inclusion of alcohol
 * 2) Satanic rituals
 * 3) No posers
 * 4) Pure scene knowledge
 * 5) No survivors
 * 6) Kaikki paskaksi

In practice
Tragically for the followers of the Church of Satan, condition number 1 is statistically the reason most Total Fucking Wars do not materialize in a way to truly result in complete galactic annihilation. After the rise of the Rap Order and the Golden age of intoxicants it brought, the Church of Satan and most of its Black Metal paladins have been trapped in their living rooms with near-to limitless supplies of Olvi Kolme.